Thanksgiving Trip & Lessons from a Turkey Project

While I was washing the dishes a couple of weekends ago, my wife hinted of how much fun it would be if our family were to spend the week of Thanksgiving in Maryland – where my 3 older sisters and their families live. I immediately shot down the “absurd” idea because – we were trying to minimize our spending; I was working that week; we had several appointments scheduled; and the idea of driving 12 hours was tiresome knowing that we would be travelling to Maryland for Christmas and New Year anyway. But the wife was persistent and as any married man with an iota of wisdom would know, the overall health of the whole family depends largely on the mood of the mother. In Tagalog, huwag hayaang dumilim ang liwanag ng ilaw ng tahanan.

Somehow, the constraints slowly disappeared. The cost didn’t seem to be that much. My unused vacation days were creatively re-scheduled. Dental appointments were postponed by a week. A parent-teacher conference was arranged to be done by phone. A confirmed attendance to a birthday party was cancelled. And yes, the 12-hour trip didn’t seem so tiring anymore. The trip was eventually confirmed on a Wednesday. We left Illinois for Maryland last Friday evening, and before Saturday lunch the next day – we had the pleasure of walking into the home of one of my sisters un-announced. The other sister got a surprising phone call announcing our presence. Only one of my 3 sisters was informed of the trip.

I’m glad we did make the trip – my wife is enjoying a much needed break in the company of my sisters, the boys are having a blast with their cousins, and after several months of stressful projects at work, I definitely needed a vacation. Thank GOD for persistent wives.

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Earlier this evening at the Thanksgiving Eve worship service we attended, the congregation was asked to write down what we were thankful for on pieces of paper that were provided. These were then collected as offerings of thanksgiving. I listed my children amongst the top reasons to be thankful for. Without going into a lot of details, I’ve learned so much about GOD and myself due to my children in the past months or so.

A couple of weeks ago, my 3rd grader – the artist of the family and I were having a discussion regarding his Thanksgiving turkey project. The whole class was given a white paper in the outline of a turkey. See the image below:



They were asked to “disguise” the turkey so it could escape from ending at the Thanksgiving dinner table. I was explaining how my son could approach his project. As I am oftentimes do in this kind of situation, I was starting to take control and was becoming very impatient. I suggested that he could disguise the turkey as a tree, or as a pumpkin. I was getting annoyed that he wasn’t digging my suggestions. So, with a barrage of tense words, I left him to work on his project alone.

A few moments later, he informed me that he would disguise his turkey as the Mayflower. My first thought was – how the heck does one do that? The Mayflower? Does he even know what that is? It turned out that he did. And as he slowly explained his idea, I felt myself slowly wanting to sink to the floor. I then realized that my son wasn’t warm to my suggestions because he had better things in mind.

I’ve been a strong believer that parents are solely responsible for helping their children achieve their highest potential. Though I fail repeatedly, I do my best to love, nurture, mentor, and be the best example for my 3 boys. I sometimes forget though, that children weren’t meant just to be taken cared for by their parents. In many ways, they are there to mold me as a person, and to also strengthen my character. And character is no small thing – after all, from a biblical perspective, I will be taking my character with me to eternity. In contrast, my accomplishments, career, and material possessions, all which seem to be so important in this fleeting lifetime will eventually vanish.

In the case of the turkey project, God has spoken to me through my child. I need to work on my humility. I need to work on my patience. I need to be less judgmental of my child’s abilities – or any other person for that matter. I need to be less judgmental, period. Sometimes, things that may seem as ordinary as a pumpkin or a tree to me, can actually be as complex and as purposeful as the Mayflower. I thank God for my child, and for the lesson I learned through him.

I share below his completed turkey, and his accompanying write-up. Happy Thanksgiving!

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Respecting the Landslide Victims

I've seen Facebook photo galleries of the landslide tragedies in Benguet and Mountain Province - particularly that of Little Kibungan and Tadian. The images were very graphic. I saw the faces of those who perished, a lot of them muddied but very recognizable. In one photo, I saw a dead child, very stiff and still in his pajamas being carried by 2 adults. In the same picture, I saw another adult, with his phone camera, most likely taking pictures of what's going on. This child has family and relatives - some of them surviving no doubt. I don't believe they would have wanted this particularly image to have been posted in social networking sites for all to see. Don't add more to the suffering of the victims. Do respect the landslide victims.

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Bagyong Ondoy: What it Didn't Drown

PHOTO: Cars a block away from where our apartment stood in Provident Village, Marikina.

We were at the newly bought house of friends, celebrating with them, when I first heard about the flooding in the Philippines. I didn’t mind it that much, until I saw the photos. And the videos – and the news articles too. That got my attention. And we’ve been glued to all the updates we could get back home on the aftermath of Bagyong Ondoy.

Many photo galleries in Yahoo and in Facebook, focused on one place – Provident Village in Marikina. That was where we used to live – in fact, until 2 months ago, a lot of our precious stuff were in an apartment that we rented in Provident Village. My wife asked her siblings to move these to Baguio July of this year. Thankfully, these were not swept in the flood.

We did hear a very harrowing story that pierced our hearts. Our househelp, who has stayed with us since Dec 2000 and who we consider as a close friend, was in the Marikina apartment when the flood waters came. She was with her baby daughter who was less than a year old. The flood waters started seeping into the apartment on Saturday morning. By 1pm, she, the baby and other neighbors somehow managed to climb to the roof and stayed there for the whole night of Saturday, until a friend of my brother-in-law was able to go through the flooded roads and get her and the baby on Sunday morning. I was numb after hearing that. I don’t have details whether they had an umbrella or whether they ate or drank anything while they were on the roof. Our only consolation was that they were in the roof with neighbors – at least, they weren’t alone. She hasn’t replied to any of our text messages yet, though we know she is now at a safe place. I wonder how adults could survive such an ordeal, let alone children and infants. We Filipinos, are really a tough bunch.

I read so many stories, many close to our hearts since it affected those we know. The houses of friends were affected by varying degrees of flooding. I’ve yet to hear from kumpares in Marikina and Pasig. An email I sent to their workplace accounts haven’t been answered yet – perhaps they still haven’t reported for work? I heard of an officemate whose house was fully submerged in flood waters. The sibling of a friend was not able to contact her family for 48 hours since her phone went dead and she couldn’t recharge it. They thought she was missing and even paged her through a TV show. Another friend and her family are staying at a hotel – they can’t reach their home due to the floods.

And of course, there were the stories of those who didn’t survive. People clinging to rooftops saw bodies floating around. That of a young man, an elderly woman with her arms wrapped around a young child, a mother and her five children – it’s simply overwhelming.

For every calamity though, there are also the brave and unselfish acts that bring warmth to the soul. I was pleasantly surprised to recognize the name of a high school batch mate on one newspaper article – her hubby used a kayak he had never ridden before to help rescue strangers at the risk of losing his life. (Read Man loses belongings to save lives). I also saw friends from our church back home being very active in relief efforts. Tomorrow, a friend from Chicago is driving from house to house collecting clothes that her relatives will be sending through to the Philippines.

On our short stay in this life, calamities like Bagyong Ondoy come and go. I don’t hope any such calamity on anyone, but I know these calamities are there to help us realize what our priorities are. It is people and relationships that count. Floods may drown the most expensive cars and houses, but it can never drown the people’s hopes, or their abilities to help and love one another.

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Lessons from the "Francesca in France" Blunder

Let me start this post by explaining clearly where I'm coming from. This is not a hate post against the blogger who I will be referring to as "Francesca in France". The past week, a blog post I created on May 2008 got pasted in a Friendster group's discussion forum and I went to check what it was all about. I followed up the discussion in the Friendster group at the same time, checking back the contents and comments of a post in Francesca in France's blog that started this whole she-bang. In a way, my blog had some remote connection to what was going on.

It seems that dozens of people have vilified Francesca in France due to one of her many blog posts. That particular post was about something negative or offending that Francesca in France wrote about the Igorots. I for one was offended, so I did my part in writing her in an email, and also posting a blog post here. I'm not surprised that this has come up again, after almost a year. I wouldn't be surprised if the whole thing is going to come out again - 1, 2 or even 3 years from now. That is, if nothing is currently done by Francesca in France.

Let me state that I have nothing against Francesca in France. Do I believe that she is a good woman? YES. SHE SEEMS TO BE A MOTHER MAKING SACRIFICES AND DOING THE BEST FOR HER FAMILY. Do I agree with what she posted against the Igorots? NO. Is she responsible for her blog and what she writes? YES. Is she owning up to that responsibility. NO. Do I believe that her blog is impacted by what happened? YES. Do I think that her real personality should be judged by that one post? NO. Do the online community have a right to discuss her post and link back to her blog? YES, HER BLOG IS OPEN TO THE PUBLIC. Do I agree with how she answered criticisms logged against her? NO. Could she have done better in dealing with what she wrote? YES, ABSOLUTELY. Does it look like she will change her current approach to the situation? NO. Were some of her comments / replies / succeeding blog posts misunderstood? YES, I THINK SO. Do I believe that she should give up on blogging? NO. I THINK THE BLOGOSPHERE IS ENHANCED BY THE STORIES SHE TELLS.

If I was a well meaning friend of Francesca in France, what would I tell her? Now, this is sounding like unsolicited advise but I'll fire anyway. I would tell her to delete the lines with regards to the IGOROT people. By now, she has been educated on who the IGOROT people are, and it is really not helping anyone including her to keep those degrading comments in the Internet. Those 2 lines are not worth the trouble that her blog has received. Her online credibility has been shot, and her dozens of blog posts have been tarnished just because of those 2 lines. It would incredibly help her online credibility if she does this. I can give this advise but in the end, it will be up to her what she follows.

Should Francesca in France apologize for what she wrote? She actually posted a blog post on why she refuses to apologize. It had something to do with the purported "blackmailing" she received. Also, its tough to disregard the many negative comments that were heaped on her. Even a fellow Igorot posted a comment on my blog to say that some of those who disagreed attacked her "below the belt". For me, the honorable thing would be to apologize. With or without the blackmailing, she still made the mistake of equating the Igorot people with being unable to understand. Not all Igorots or Igorot supporters who commented on her blog gave negative comments. There were actually a lot who were very direct to the point, and were constructive in pointing out what was wrong. As one poster in the Friendster forum said, the online community involved would praise her if she goes out her way to apologize.

What happened to Francesca in France can actually be a learning lesson for small time bloggers like me. I am a believer that mistakes do not cause failures. In fact, lessons learned from mistakes can be very rewarding in the future. I did not make the mistake, but this is an opportunity to learn from Francesca in France's blunder. Here's a mind dump of what I will take away from this whole thing:

#1. Listen to your readers. I was one of the first readers of Francesca in France's infamous post. I urged her to correct the error immediately. On a recent check in her post, I found 150+ comments with some of these deleted - I assume these contain obscenities directed to her. It could have taken her just a minute to correct her post, and saved her a lot of trouble.

#2. Improve on ways to communicate. The way we communicate with our friends is very different with how we communicate with blog readers. Our friends know who we are, our strengths, our weaknesses. Majority of our blog readers are strangers we meet online. They will not understand that "sikat pala ako dito" means a light hearted joke, not an arrogant claim.

#3. Win over online acquaintances by writing humbly. If you enter an online forum, write humbly. If you're a new member, do not write anything that resembles a threat or an accusation. You will be ganged up on. Writing humbly is music to online ears, being confrontational while new in a group sounds like long fingernails scratching against a blackboard.

#4. Owning or writing a blog doesn't mean that one has brains. Anyone can write a blog. My 10-year old son has a blog where he posts his original jokes. I'm urging him to write his book reports and reading responses on this blog as well. It doesn't take special skills to initiate and maintain a blog. Just because one has written a blog for 5 years doesn't mean that person has brains. I know very intelligent people who don't write any blog. I also know people possessing 2-digit IQs that have been writing not just one, but 2 or more blogs. See also #3.

#5. Protect your online credibility. Guard your online reputation. While this may have no bearing on your real life reputation, a blog's credibility is diminished if the blogger's reputation is questionable. Avoid being diagnosed online as someone with dementia.

#6. Not all publicity is good publicity. Contrary to advertising's assertion that any publicity is good publicity, I'd rather be known for writing something good, not bad. Cruella de Ville was famous but can you guess where she ended up?

#7. Finally, be forgiving. Today is Easter and we are COMMANDED to forgive. Note that we are COMMANDED, and not REQUESTED. We, human beings all need forgiving, who amongst us hasn't sinned? Forgiveness doesn't make the offending party right, but it puts us right with Our Father in Heaven. Furthermore, unforgiveness is a heavy burden to bear. God has sent His One and Only Son to die for our sins so we may be forgiven. Since we are forgiven, how much more should we be forgiving to our fellow men/women? In the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant, Matthew 18:21-35, God warns against not being able to forgive.

The ladies in the Friendster forum seem to have accepted what may have been an "apology" from Francesca in France. That's definitely something to be thankful about. HAPPY EASTER to all! Hug the Easter Bunny for me and take it easy on the sugar.

Related Posts: Filipinas Slam Francesca in France; Igorot Slur on a Filipino Blog

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A Gay Bishop and the North American Anglican Split

As a baptized Anglican in Sagada's St. Mary the Virgin Church, I have always followed the interesting milestones in this denomination's history. It was in the 1990s that the Anglican church allowed women priests. In 2003, the Anglican church in the United States consecrated the first openly gay bishop. I remember that in exchanges within an Igorot mailing list, one Anglican noted that those who consecrated the first openly gay bishop did not believe in the authority of the Bible. This led to some heated exchanges for those who said they believe in the Bible but supported the consecration of the gay bishop.

I am not a practicing Anglican anymore, (if there is one such person) and I would classify myself as an evangelical Christian. And yes, I also find it hard to understand how the Anglican leadership in the US can consecrate a gay bishop and say they believe in the Bible as well. The Bible is very clear on how to select bishops. In 1 Timothy 3: 2-7, "The bishop therefore must be without reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, orderly, given to hospitality, apt to teach; no brawler, no striker; but gentle, not contentious, no lover of money; one that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (but if a man knoweth not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) not a novice, lest being puffed up he fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover he must have good testimony from them that are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil."

Let me state that I am not a homophobic gay basher. I have close gay friends - two of my children's godparents are openly gay. And as a Christian, I am taught by the Bible to love all people as Jesus does - and Jesus died for the homosexual sinner as He did for me, a sinner too. But a bishop is a person with the responsibility of leading congregations - and if he falls short of the standard the Bible has, then he should never be put in that position.

Five years after the consecration of the gay bishop, traditionalists are moving to create a separate and competing North American Anglican church. In headline news the past two days, four breakaway Episcopal dioceses along with dozens of individual parishes in the U.S. and Canada with around 100,000 members announced the formation of a rival North American Anglican province. The group's constitution is looking to reflect the qualities of the new Anglican province which according to one its leaders should be "biblically grounded, Christ-centered, mission driven, outwardly focused, committed to evangelism and discipleship, and proudly Anglican."

The new conservative province already has the support of seven leaders of Anglican national churches including the archbishops of Nigeria, Rwanda, Kenya and the Southern Cone, based in Argentina. Will the Episcopal Church of the Philippines, which the Sagada Anglican community belong to, take a stand in this divide? I highly doubt it, but I'd be very pleased if they do since I'm 99% sure which side they will be on.

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An Igorot in Chicago reflects on Barack Obama

(Photos taken from Chicago Tribune)

I was in Dallas, TX during the fall of 2004. It was my first foreign assignment in the US. I witnessed the debates between John Kerry and incumbent President George Bush. I remember that the state of Ohio proved to be the sole battleground state and that it was a closely contested race. At the back of my memory during that campaign season was a photo of a beaming Illinois senator with his family that headlined a local newspaper. I don't remember much about that story, except that he delivered a keynote speech at a convention. That was the first time I saw and heard of a man named Barrack Obama.

Fast forward to spring of 2008. I'm back in the United States and this time with my family. We were residing at a northwestern suburb of metro Chicago. My wife and I were closely following the Democratic primaries and the heated contest between Hillary Clinton and Barrack Obama. Somehow, I was cheering for Mr. Obama as he went on to win a string of states that eventually led to his being selected as the Democrat Party's presidential candidate.

Then came his acceptance speech which we watched from start to finish. To say that the guy can talk is an understatement. HE CAN HYPNOTIZE. In the 3 presidential debates, his eloquence allowed him to state his stand strongly, clearly, and almost effortlessly. It is not difficult to be charmed by this guy. He possesses youth, talent, charisma, and projected the ability of handling pressure effortlessly. He always looked cool. It looked like he was really destined to become this nation's president.

On election night, I came home from work and immediately switched on the TV. Soon, Obama carried pivotal states that were supposed to be close contests - Pennsylvania, Ohio, Virginia. It was turning out to be a rout. At 11pm CST, the polls closed in the West Coast and without a single ballot being counted, the networks projected BARACK OBAMA as the elected 44th president of the Unites States of America.

It was late and it was way past our boys' bedtime but I wanted them to watch his victory speech. Its not too often that one shares the same metro city as the president-elect. Thousands of people have gathered at Grant Park, a mere 30-minute drive away to celebrate his victory. Had my kids been older, we would also have trekked downtown to witness and be a part of this historical moment.

Ah, "historical". It's been 7 days since he won, and the word "historical" has been repeated a billion times to describe his victory. Amongst others, the phrase "first black president" keeps cropping up. Beyond his skin color, Obama has a very white background having been raised by a white mother and white grandparents. I don't know the statistics but he can easily be the most international president in terms of origin. Born in Hawaii, he has lived in Indonesia, and has visited relatives in Kenya as a youth.

For me, Obama is the epitome of an American dream. Born in a middle-class working family, he has told stories of how his mother studied with him at 4 in the morning just so he can get ahead in his studies. He went to top universities such as Columbia and Harvard and excelled at those schools. He was a community leader and an Illinois senator. He couldn't have accomplished much just by being normal - no sir, though he's talented, I bet that it his work ethics, self discipline and motivation that makes him who he is. On top of it all, he is married to an equally over-achieving lady, who happens to the descendant of slaves; and they have kids who aren't allowed to whine and receive paltry allowances amounting to $1/week. It's almost unreal.

Had I been allowed to vote, I wouldn't have voted for him though. I do not agree with him regarding his pro-choice stance and tax plan. I'll probably benefit from his tax plan next year but I don't think its the best for the economy. Yes, 95% of all the people would benefit, but the employers who employ the people? They're going to be hit in a manner that can substantially curtail their growth and affect their ability to employ. With regards to his pro-choice stand, I heard him explain in an interview with Pastor Rick Warren that he doesn't believe that life begins at conception. I wonder what he believes then, but for me, this is a fundamental issue that should never be negotiated.

Lastly, I've been tasked to hire employees before, and I take into consideration both experience and potential. The presidential election is like the process of hiring an employee, except that this is no ordinary job - it is the most important job in perhaps, the whole world. Despite Obama's talent and potential, it is too risky to have someone too untested to decide on options that will impact the lives of billions.

And yet, the elections are over and Barack Obama is the president-elect. My pre-election views have changed over the course of a week. I now think that though Obama may not have been the better candidate, he definitely has the potential to be the greater president. As a Christian, I am commanded by Scripture to pray for my leaders. As a resident alien here in the US, Barack Obama is my leader too, and so I shall be praying for him.

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This Igorot's take on the Beijing Olympic Opener

( Photo credit: Getty Images )

BUMMER: Olympic Opening Ceremonies NOT covered live in the United States!

Thursday night Chicago time, I was excitedly checking NBC's schedule the next Friday morning (Aug 8 evening, Beijing time) for coverage on the Opening Ceremonies of the Beijing Olympiad. Advertisements on the network promised that the Olympics would start at 7:30am ET. Now that I think about it, they were right. They didn't lie. What they failed to impress on me, their viewer, was that there was no live coverage of the Olympic Opening ceremonies. Let me say that again - THE OLYMPIC OPENING CEREMONIES WOULDN'T BE SHOWN LIVE IN THE UNITED STATES! I even arranged my meetings that morning so they won't start earlier than 10:30am, and I woke up earlier than usual not to miss a single minute of the ceremonies and all I had to contend with were some yadda-yadda-yadda on the early Chicago news showing a correspondent in Beijing saying the opening ceremonies were about to start in a few minutes. Thats if you were in China or in any other country but the US. Viewers in this country will need to wait 12 more hours...

Finally, they did cover the opening ceremonies. I guess I expected a non-stop, uninterrupted coverage like I witnessed in Singapore during the 2000 Sydney Games. WRONG! Beautiful pageantry was interrupted by commercial advertising. It was reported that the NBC network will rake in a record $1 billion in ad revenue for their Olympic coverage. (Read here.) I guess that's what this is all about - money! There are 18 days of Olympic coverage. The opening ceremonies is for a mere 3-3.5 hours. Couldn't they have shown all their ads in the other days of coverage other than the opening day? Millions of viewers would have been delighted and that's worth more than their ad revenue.

On a side note, people will be crazy to fly with United Air. The airlines showed at least 3 ads during the opening ceremonies. That advertising will most likely be paid by their passengers.

My Affair with the Olympic Opening Ceremonies

Growing up in Sagada in the early 80s, there were no television. My first exposure to the Olympic Games were through Betamax tapes of the 1984 Los Angeles Games. After that, I watched every Olympic opening ceremony on live (or almost live) telecast. I was in high school when I watched the 1988 Seoul Games at our boys dormitory in Diliman. 1992 Barcelona was viewed at our apartment in V. Luna. 1996 Atlanta Games was at the Narra dormitory in UP. 2000 Sydney was viewed at the Tan-Chong towers in Singapore. And 2004 Athens was from our residence in Batasan.

My excitement has been building for more than a week. It would also be the first time for me to watch the ceremonies in high definition TV. And I am in Chicago, a city that is bidding to host the Olympics in 2016. So you can just imagine my disappointment at not being able to watch the coverage live. I'm sure that with their satellite reception, my relatives in Sagada were able to watch the show earlier than I did.

THE BEST OPENING CEREMONIES EVER

Let's get it over with - the Opening Ceremonies of the Beijing Olympiad is simply the best ever! Kamamayatan, kagagawisan - maid maka-abak! (Nicest and greatest ever, no one comes close.) Since 1988, the opening ceremonies I've watched increased progressively in quality and awesome-ness; with perhaps, the exception of the 2004 low budget Athens show. I will not try to describe it, for it is beyond my powers to describe. I'm sure the next one in London will attempt to come close, but I highly doubt that it will be able to. This kind of show can only be produced by the Chinese, that country in Asia that is amongst the first civilizations to be established and that currently holds 1/5 of the world's population. It does help that they had a $100 million budget. (One would argue if this is the best use for this money, but then, let's not go there.)

Plenty of images that I will treasure from the ceremonies - the 2008 drummers doing the countdown, the huge scroll, the tai-chi masters, the waterfall and dolphin projections, the floating dancers, the 29 fireworks / giant steps, the multiple firework displays, the human boxes, the umbrellas with children's faces, the boy with Yao Ming on the parade of nations, the wonderful synchronization that only the Chinese can produce, the breathtaking lighting of the Olympic torch - simply superb.

After watching the ceremonies, my wife and I had this feeling that China showed the world its true power - no one can beat 1.5 billion people representing their best. Perhaps then, its time for my boys to learn Chinese.

GREAT COMMENTATING

I suppose there's a silver lining to the delayed Olympic telecast. (Okay, I admit that much.) For one thing, I was in a very relaxed mood with the work over for the day and no pressures to deal with. Also, the commentators did a very good job and some of their quips, particularly during the parade of nations had us grinning / raising our eyebrows / laughing out loud.

These are some of their quotes in my own words:

• "Let's be diplomatic and say that some people have different styles." - on a European country's hideous choice of floral uniforms
• "They don't know what Vladimir Putin already knows." - on the Russian delegation referring to the Georgia - Russia armed conflict that was developing at the very same time
• "Imagine coming to a stadium with 91,000+ people. It's like, hey, they have 20,000 more people here than our whole country" - on the delegation from Andorra, a country with a population of 70,000+
• "He should enjoy the opening ceremonies. His Olympics will not last long." - on the flagbearer of a South American country who is a badminton player and drawn to play a Chinese world champion in the first round
• "With all that money, they still don't have a gold medal." - on the delegation from Monaco
• "They've won more medals in the international Math Olympiad." - on the delegation from Vietnam
• "If there is an opening ceremonies trophy, it should be retired just now" - while watching a Chinese champion gymnast fly through the air to light the Olympic torch

Finally, let's all enjoy the Olympic Games. This is the first time I've recorded the opening ceremonies, and its such a nice feeling knowing I can always play it back.

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